


If I Were a Superhero

by pinkevilbob



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Superheroes/Superpowers, F/M, Meet-Cute, Pre-Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 23:33:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20164447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkevilbob/pseuds/pinkevilbob
Summary: Jester's a new hero on the scene and is in over her head. Enter a pair of super powered hobos.





	If I Were a Superhero

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in April, but I didn't finish it and I forgot about it until today. So here you guys go.

Superheroes, Caleb Widogast had determined long ago, were a nuisance. Everyone assumes that if you have superpowers you must be a superhero or have plans for going down a darker path, which just encouraged people like Caleb and Nott to hide their powers. Heroes were loud, flashy, and generally a danger to themselves and others.

For example, the hero that decided to fight a giant frog monster right outside of the alley Nott and Caleb were were trying to avoid the rain in. Caleb knew it really wasn’t the hero’s fault, but it didn’t stop him from being annoyed with her. She wore green cloak that obscured her features and a pastel dress. It looked like she was a new hero and just starting out, but Caleb avoided that sort of thing on purpose.

Nott watched the hero with awe though. She was newer to having powers than Caleb was, so it was still new and exciting for her even with the side effects. Caleb was lucky all he had were powers, but for some powers came … extra features. Inhuman qualities: odd colored skin, tails, fangs. He even met someone covered in feathers once. They were called Altered and Nott was one of them. With her green skin, batlike ears and pointed jagged teeth it was hard for Nott to blend in with a crowd, so it was up to Caleb to be their face and keep them safe. And this hero was not making it any easier for him.

Though to be fair, this hero was doing her best to keep the monster away from civilians and probably had no idea that Caleb and Nott were there. All Caleb and Nott could do was wait out the fight. "She's winning, right Caleb?" Nott asked.

Caleb shrugged. He didn't care much one way or another. "Maybe." The hero was starting to show exhaustion, but the monster had been bloodied up, so she could dish it out as well as take it.

The monster then lunged at the hero and knocked her to the side sending her tumbling into a garbage can with a loud THUMP! Her hood was knocked askew showing the hero's blue face. Blood dripped off of her horns and Caleb flinched. An Altered. But it made no sense. Altereds were typically targets for violence and most of them avoided superheroes. An Altered hero was a rare sight to see, but there she was taking a beating for people who liked to pretend that she didn't exist. She tried to get up, but she stumbled at the monster's feet. The monster raised its fists high into the air ready to bring them down on the hero.

Without thinking, Caleb dug into his power and summoned a giant cat's paw right above the hero catching the monster's blow. “We’re helping?” Nott asked with excitement.

“I suppose we are now, but stay back,” Caleb said.

With a flick of her wrist, Nott summoned some sort of illusion next to the monster’s head distracting it.

The hero managed to roll away from the great frog beast and summoned a big lollipop next to the monster and clobbered it over the head.

Nott tugged on Caleb’s coat. “She’s like you.”

“Not really,” Caleb said. For one thing, she was dumb enough to want to be a superhero, and he had abandoned those wishes long ago. “Come on, they’re distracted. Let’s get out of here.”

* * *

Jester knew that she wasn’t seeing things; the first day she went out as a hero someone saved her with a huge cat’s paw. When she told Beau about it, Beau said that it was probably just her imagination. But Jester knew that it had to be real that she would’ve been killed without it. So the question was where was the rest of the cat and who was responsible for it.

The problem was that there were no witnesses for that part of the fight, and even online there was no one that had heard of a hero or villain or anyone that could summon cat’s paws. And it could just someone whose power was summoning things, but for most people there was a pattern, like how Jester could only summon lollipops(which she would never complain about). So it could be a new superhero or someone who just came into their superpowers or maybe they were just super shy. It was frustrating. Jester was supposed to be the great hero Lollipop Lass and she couldn’t even thank whoever it was that helped her.

She was in a bad mood on her way to meet up with her friend, Fjord. Jester couldn’t shake the feeling that she should’ve done more to find her rescuer. Or maybe it was rescuers. The frog monster seemed oddly distracted, so maybe there was something more going on there. Shaking her head, Jester tried to drive those thoughts from her head, but it was no use. Her thoughts kept going back to that fight. Beau and Fjord both chewed her out for not waiting for help and even Jester had to admit that it was a bad idea, but the monster was going after a kid and there was no way Jester was going to turn a blind eye to that.

Out of the corner of her eye, Jester noticed something. Down in the alley next to her was a familiar cat paw floating in the air. It was holding up a small woman up to a fire escape. The woman dropped down the ladder and the paw lowered her back down to the ground.

Jester ran up to the woman. “It’s you!” Jester blurted out to excited to hold herself back. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere!” The woman’s eyes grew wide and they were very cat like. The yellow of her eyes contrasted well with the green of her skin. She wore an oversized hoodie, but there was something under the hood that kept it from lying flat, so she might’ve had horns like Jester did.

“What me? No, I’m not worth looking for at all,” the woman said backing away.

“But, your power. Your cat paw. It saved me last week,” Jester said. “I wanted to thank you.”

The woman looked up at Jester with surprise. Her hood fell back revealing two large pointed ears. “Cat paw? That wasn’t me.”

“But I just saw you use it just a moment ago.”

“Nein. That was me,” a dirty man said stepping out from beside the wall. Jester hadn’t noticed him until he had spoken up. He was wearing old shabby clothes and smelled a little bit like a port-a-potty.

Jester was a little bit disappointed that her hero smelled so bad, but he had nice blue eyes so at least that was a bonus. “Then you were the one who saved me! Thank you!” She tried to hug him, but he ducked away from her.

“You were sloppy and nearly got killed. I just did what anyone would do.” He headed towards the ladder the small woman had already started climbing.

“Wait!” Jester shouted even though he was still only three feet away from her. “Why aren’t you a superhero? Or are you one under deep cover? Is that why you’re so smelly?”

He scowled at her. “Just because someone has powers doesn’t mean they want to be a hero.”

“But you were my hero,” Jester said weakly and his mask of a scowl cracked. He gave her a soft frown.

“Then you have a terrible hero.” He climbed up the ladder.

“Wait! Please. Can I know your name?”

He gave her a long hard look. “You can call me Caleb Widogast.”

His friend poked out her head from higher up. “And I’m Nott the Brave!”

“It’s nice to meet you Nott and Caleb! I’m Jester!” Jester called up. “And I think that you’re a better hero than you think you are.”

Caleb gave her the saddest looking smile and kept going up the ladder.

Jester hopped up and down with excitement. She met another person with powers! And not only that but the one that saved her. Fjord was going to flip when she tells him about this.

* * *

A sigh left Caleb. He had been sighing even more than usual. Which was saying something because his natural state of being was a subtle simmer of melancholy. But Nott knew her friend well enough to catch even the smallest changes to his demeanor. “Are you thinking about that girl again?”

Caleb startled out of his thoughts. “What?! What girl? I wasn’t thinking about her.”

“The girl from the other day. The superhero.”

Caleb frowned. “Her. Well, she might cross my mind, but that’s because she’s reckless and endangering lives. She could be out there getting herself hurt right now.”

“Are you worried that you’re going to have to save her again?” Nott asked.

Caleb’s frown deepened. “I’m worried that I won’t be around if she needs saving again. Really, a young hero like her shouldn’t be on her own.”

“Then why don’t we join her then? We could be superheroes.” The idea always tempted Nott and even before she had powers, she would sometimes daydream about what it would be like.

“Nein. It’s dangerous and stupid,” Caleb said. “And I don’t know what I’d do if anything were to happen to you, Nott.” He grabbed onto her hand and held it gently.

Nott squeezed his hand back. “You have nothing to worry about. I know how to hide.”

Caleb smiled at her. “You are very good at that.”

“You could be Cat’s Eye and I would be Nott the Brave.”

Caleb frowned in confusion. “But that’s your name.”

“Oh, like there’s any point in me having a secret identity? I don’t think there’s enough green woman here that slapping a domino mask on me and calling me something else is going to do us much good,” Nott said.

“You do have a point there,” Caleb said. “I’m not going to wear a mask. They’re uncomfortable and always make my face itch.”

Nott looked up at Caleb. “So we’re going to do it?”

“We’ll have to be careful and if it’s too dangerous, we’re getting out of this game,” Caleb said.

Nott jumped. “Just you wait! You and me and Jester going to be amazing heroes.”

Caleb chuckled, which coming from him was a sad sound. “Ja, we are.”

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, I'm totally obsessed with superheroes and super powers. Also I probably intended to have more for this AU, but eh, this is all I got.


End file.
